Sunday, August 28, 2011

Influences

Who has influence in your life? I was thinking about the people whose opinions mean the most to me and the reasons why I value what they say. Well I will start by saying that I have very smart, amazing and powerful people in my life and I know that all their advice comes from a place of love. But when people give advice where else does it come from. Well obviously it comes from their past experiences and view points. It would be very hard for someone to give you advice without bringing their own judgments into the picture. Yes sometimes we can learn from others experience but often times we have to go through the storm ourselves to come out with the same insight.

So how do we come to these insights? Sometimes we repeat the same lesson over and over again until we finally get it and sometimes once is enough. I know there are issues that I am constantly working on, and sometimes it feels like I take big steps forward, and then I may have to repeat a grade or retake a test. I feel as though I’m constantly searching for approval, and often times in this search I solicit advice even though that is not what I am really looking for.  I realize that all the outside approval isn’t going to matter until I approve of myself. At that point I will be the most powerful influence in my life. I can take the advice from others go within and make decisions that ring true for me.  I will then be able to appreciate the people who have influence in my life. There experiences and advice will be a gift to help me on my path.

As a coach I don't focus on giving advice. I assist clients on their path so that they may go within and find the solutions that ring true for them. There are so many outside influences that at times we may need assistance tuning the world out so that we may truly hear what's available. I know at times I do. I turn to writing or art or meditation because although I know there is no way to eliminate all the people and things that influence me there is a way to see them clearly.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Live in the World of Play

What is the perfect career and who actually has it? How many people today can we say are in love with their work? Isn’t it something we are all striving for. I believe that whatever we want we can create but when we live in a world that tells us that working is about making money and gaining respect how do we step away from the crowd and find careers that are fulfilling and satisfying. The other day I was sitting with my boyfriend and his friend who is actually a former co worker and I asked them both what would they do if they could do anything. If you can believe it I actually had to pry their answers from them. I got responses like I don’t discuss things that are not realistic or finance people just work to make money they don’t care about liking their jobs.  For most of us the majority of our time is spent at our jobs, why are we settling for not liking what we do. We wouldn’t watch a TV show that we didn’t like or hang out with friends who we couldn’t stand so why are we spending 8-12 hours of our day doing something we don’t like. Is it really all about the paycheck? And if so what are we sacrificing in order to gain it. Our happiness, health, our families.

So I ask you what would you do if you could do anything? Give yourself permission to go big, be unrealistic.   At what age did it stop being ok to fantasize?  New creative unrealistic things are done every day but it’s only by those who let themselves dream. And not only dream but do. So what would it take for us to stop living in the world of realism and live in the world of play. When we play we take risks. We take chances and slide towards home base. We make up new rules and we go for the win. I vow in my career to go for the big win and if society’s rules are not making the game interesting enough for me then I vow to make up new ones.