Why do we want the goals we say we want? I know that I want to get married and have kids. Now that is not for everyone and I’ve had to examine where the need comes from for me. Is it me trying to outrun the stereotype of being single educated black woman? Is it a measure of worth? Yes, actually I believe for me, there is still a little of both of those concepts wrapped up in it. But more than that for me it is about starting a committed family. Raising children in a way that they feel most supported and safe and also raising daughters that know that they deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is 100% committed to them. Even if for them that commitment does not look like marriage.
I am also learning that you need to have people in your life who are on the same page with you. I recently went through a breakup because my partner did not want the same things in life as me. And as hard as that is I know that in the end it’s for the best. Neither of us should have to compromise what we want for our lives.
I’m not going to say I didn’t waiver, question what I want, fear that maybe it wasn’t in the cards for me. But I know that I have to surround myself with people, literature and messages that align with my thinking. With the thought that I have the power to create the life I want through my thinking, actions and by staying committed to my goals.
