Having Difficult Conversations

Having difficult conversation is a part of life, whether it be with people close to us like family or friends or others that we may be forced to have a relationship with such as co-workers or schoolmates.  This week I had to have two uncomfortable conversations, one with a co-worker and the other with my boyfriend. Both have been brewing for a while and in one case I had the balls to initiate the conversation and in the other I didn’t.  For me it brings to mind the importance of being honest with ourselves and with others.  I myself have a tendency to sweep things that bother me under the rug and tell myself that I’m not the kind of person who holds grudges and then eventually I feel as though I am over the incident. That is until something else happens and I find myself blowing up in a way that clearly shows that I am not only upset about the problem at hand but all the things I thought I was over.

For me I think I’m still learning when I should be stepping forward and when I should be shutting up.  I still think that I’m not the kind of person to hold a grudge but in order to have healthy relationships with people I need to step up more and put my feelings out there so that we can start anew.  For that to happen I have to be comfortable with my truth about how a certain situation or statement made me feel.  I believe that the more I accept my feeling then more at ease I will be with having difficult conversations with people and expressing myself.

At the end of the day I want to have open, honest relationships with people and in order for that to happen I need to be open and honest with myself.  Once we accept that we matter and our feelings matter we are less likely to let others dismiss them.

Perfect Timing

This past week I turned 29 in beautiful Puerto Rico on vacation with my boyfriend, and I was torn between feeling incredibly grateful for the experience and thinking about all the things that I thought I would have already accomplished by 30.  One of the biggest things being, getting married and having children, growing up I always told myself that I would have my first child by 26. That is when my mother had me and it seemed like the perfect age. Then 26 rolls around and I feel nowhere near ready to take on that kind of responsibility. In fact if I had gotten pregnant at 26 it would have felt a lot like teen pregnancy, there were still l so many things that I wanted to figure out about myself and life.

Even now there are still tons of things that I want to accomplish in my career and life but I have this nagging feeling about not reaching the goal I set out to accomplish on my timeline.  When setting goals how much attention do we give to things working out in our timing? Now I haven’t given up on my goal but I know that I need to release my anxiety about it working out on a certain time table and leave it in the hands of the universe, which is so hard and yet so simple.

I go forward now in the last year of my twenties, giving my full attention to my goal yet knowing that it will work out in the perfect timing. Releasing my stress about what hasn’t been accomplished by being grateful for what has. One of things that I like to do when I get down is list all the things that I’ve manifested in the past year. So I invite you all to try it because when we take a look back at all the wonderful things we accomplished we can move into the present with confidence and most of all joy.

Getting Back on Track

Lately I've been feeling as though I am letting some of the goals I set for myself slip. I had to take a real good look at whether or not I was holding myself accountable for the things I said I wanted to create. Now I could and at times I have let myself off the hook because other areas of my life were going well. But if I take a good look at what I say I want then I know it incorporates all aspects and all the goals that I set for myself not just a few of them.

So now that I've held up the mirror and I had a conversation with myself about where I have let things slide. How do I get back on track? I think one place to start is to really think about the goals I let slip and why I set these goals in the first place. At one point these were all things that I wanted, so now I need to get back in touch with why. 

 

Ok so now that I'm back in touch with my motivation I know that it's not going to just magically happen. For me one of the things that has always worked was setting a schedule with completion dates. Yes, I have the bigger completion date on all my goals but now it's time to break it down into bite size pieces. For me making a schedule is key and also sharing that schedule with someone else. An accountability partner will help you stick to your schedule. I know back in school I wasn't about to do homework that wasn't going to be checked by the teacher. And that's what an accountability partner provides, it can be a coach, a friend, or a family member, just make sure it someone who isn't going to let you off the hook. Yes I'm completing the goals for me but it always gives me a little push when I think about having to tell someone that I didn't complete what I said I was going to